As I rock my sweet, curly headed boy to sleep tonight I can’t help but think back to last year at exactly this time. Matt and I were in Boise anxiously awaiting our sweet son to be born. It were as though time stood still during that week of waiting and yet our world was spinning quickly around us. Our hearts were excited and joyful and yet our minds were cautious and grasping to wrap our thoughts around what was about to happen in our lives and in Brittani’s. My stomach was in knots with eager expectation and yet grief because I knew that our joy would be Brittani’s heartache. How can the two go together? How can you reconcile them?
A year later I’m still not sure how to answer that. All I know is that we have been blessed with the most wonderful little (well actually big) boy ever and in two days he’s going to be one. Our journey of infertility was redeemed through the precious gift of our son and a sweet relationship with his birth mom. I know that most of our journey’s to great joy are often paved with great pain along the way. But this week, I celebrate the life of my sweet son and I couldn’t be more grateful.