Like I said before, I never wanted to do stateside adoption because of the risk involved. The thought of a birth mom changing her mind was almost more than I could bear to think about. I was challenged to rethink this when we had a situation come up last October and there was a potential birth mom who was going to meet us. We got super excited at the possibility, I let my heart go there and then she decided she wanted a family that didn’t already have kids. My heart was broken and I again felt toyed with and angry at God for even letting us think it was a possibility. I had to work through my trust issues with God once again. I’m pretty sure that will be a lifelong battle. So when we got the call in Feb. about adopting Isaac my initial response was “Thanks for thinking of us. I’m so flattered but probably not.” The timing was really crazy with us moving, starting a new ministry and then there was the risk. But after praying and talking with trusted friends it was obvious to us that God was saying this is the opportunity I have given you and you need to trust me through it. God’s timing is never our own so we said Yes, trusted God and I couldn’t me more thankful now.
After initiating contact with the birth mom we began to get to know each other on FB. Weird I know but it was so normal and she was so fun to get to know. She is an amazing woman with a heart wrenching life story whom I’ve grown to love deeply. Just thinking about her makes me cry because I’ve learned more about God, how He continually pursues people, and how he redeems what seems like hopeless situations. She is a picture of strength, resilience, and love. She has been a living testament as to what it looks like to sacrifice for someone you love. I sit here looking at my sweet Isaac and almost feel guilty because he is such a precious gift that she had to give up for his sake but we get the honor to raise him. It’s a privilege that is overwhelming and I just pray that we honor the Lord and her in how we raise him. We have been entrusted with an amazing gift. She also was incredibly thoughtful in everything she did. She always considered how we would feel, what we wanted and told us so many times she was excited for us. She included us on every decision along the way.
One of the biggest joys along the way was that we got to go to the 20 week ultra sound where we found out Isaac was a boy. And to top it off she made the appointment on my birthday as a gift to me. It’s a day I won’t forget.
We also got to meet her family and some of the people closest to her. What an honor to be able to tell Isaac one day what an incredible woman she was and that she had a multitude of people who loved her and also loved him.
I think one of the greatest joys of all though was getting to be in the room when Isaac was born. It was amazing, emotional and surreal. I knew the second I saw him that he was mine and I had loved him for months and prayed for him for years and was just now getting to meet that answered prayer. What a blessing!
It’s time to feed that little blessing so next time I’ll write more about the day he was born.