Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

November 14, 2011 — 1 Comment

I’m thankful for good books. I’m always trying to read to help me grow. I think that we need to be constant learners and reading is one of the greatest ways to do that. I recently read a book called Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman. It was recommended by a friend whose friend was reading it in her seminary class.

I don’t know about you but I want to raise an intelligent child in all areas. Who doesn’t right? I know that the things that we teach our children now will shape them forever, for better or worse. Emotions are tricky and something that I can let get the better of me and honestly I don’t want to pass on the “crazy” if you will so this book was really insightful and challenging. Here are the 5 main things he talks about:

1. Being aware of the child’s emotion
2. Recognizing the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
3. Listening empathetically and validating the child’s feelings
4. Helping the child verbally label emotions
5. Setting limits while helping the child problem-solve

The types of parenting styles he talked through were: Dismissing, Disapproving. Laissez-Faire and Emotion coaching. I won’t go into detail in any of these (I just suggest reading the book).

There is so much I could say on this topic. What about you? Do you naturally do those 5 things with your kids? I know that it’s hard for me to do but I also know that I want my kids to know that what they feel is valid and that I love them enough to walk through it with them so they can become mature, healthy adults.

Jody

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One response to Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

  1. Just thinking about all this makes me tired. I can only be SO amazing, and so I guess I validate his emotions when he’s expressing them (crying himself to sleep over a friend moving away, fear at the doctor) and don’t over-analyze too much.

    I held him and comforted him for several minutes during night cry, but he wasn’t about to be calmed all the way down, and so I let him know that he could just cry himself to sleep and that he’d feel better in the morning, and I was so, SO sorry about Cooper. When he had his plantar wart treated today, he was quite afraid of the process because it was unknown, so I just grabbed his hand and leaned over him and told him to squeeze really hard if it hurt. He was a champ and barely minded it a bit.

    But I have a boy. God help me if I ever bring an emotional basketcase like ME into this world.

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