This may be the longest I’ve gone since writing in this space. I miss it. There are so many things to write about, yet some days the words are too many or too few. There are things that need processed before posting. I’m a firm believer that people should still invest in a journal instead of just blogging all their crazy for everyone to read. I think that’s a healthy place to start and sometimes our culture doesn’t use a good filter (rant over). And also, this season of life is just plain full speed ahead. Ministry, kids, school, homemaking, parenting, travel, sickness, friends, family, etc. takes precedence over my writing. It’s just the season we’re in (I’m currently editing this while making dinner. There may be mistakes as a result; with food and editing.).
So here are some random events and meandering thoughts from my crazy cluttered mind today:
We celebrated my amazing husbands birthday this week. He is a gift to me and our family every day and I’m grateful to celebrate him. I love this picture because it captures us right now. Homemade pizza, Jenna playing Happy Birthday on her harp-like instrument, Isaac singing and dancing along with the harp (which is why he’s blurry) and Matt smiling at the adorable and craziness that is our fantastic family. It’s one of those images that will stay with me forever.
Matt’s request for his birthday was to make a memory together. We went to breakfast which was fun and memorable but in our last minute scheming to make it even more memorable we bought tickets to the Timbers game. It was a fun, rowdy crowd, they won 3-0 and it was a perfectly balmy October evening (no jackets required). Sometimes you just have to do spontaneous things to celebrate life and create a memory. Mission accomplished.
Sometimes beautiful things fall apart.
Sometimes people you love fall apart. Sometimes it’s like watching someone die in a way that’s not necessarily leaving this earth physically but as a result of bad life decisions. The person they were actually dies and becomes someone you don’t even know anymore. It’s like grieving a physical death, except they are still there but in an altered state and it’s terrible. Sometimes people in your life are selfish and walk away for reasons that you’ll never understand or comprehend. Sometimes hopes or dreams fall apart or life changes directions completely. Sometimes there are just seasons where life changes and it’s not necessarily bad but it still feels like it’s falling apart in ways or pieces of you are being left behind.
Those flowers remind me that beautiful things do fall apart and maybe die. But Christ reminds me that there are seasons to life and death. He reminds me that there is always hope in new life springing forth and He is in the business of redeeming broken, falling apart things; if not in this world, in the next.
As I sat in a chair today at a hospital for 90 minutes having some more tests done to rule out some health issues (don’t worry I’m not dying yet) I was also reminded that sometimes I make things out to be so much worse than they actually are or will be. I’ve been dreading this test, being poked and injected with things, taking time out of my already busy week, and the inconvenience of it all. But as I lay there with a warm blanket, reclined, in a dimly lit room with room to think, pray and read a book I had brought I had to smile. The things I dreaded through this appointment were actually a gift to me. It was probably the most relaxing 90 minutes of my week. Sometimes the things we work up to be so terrible are only terrible in our minds, not in reality. Sometimes there are gifts hidden in the things that we think will be hard. (Now remind me of this when I’m worrying and anxious when my husband leaves the country soon.)
My day ended here as I met with a beloved student that graduated from University of Portland last year. It was a day filled with unexpected beauty and moments to sit and be still along the way. So glorious.
Well friends, there are a few of my random thoughts right now if you were patient enough to read through it all. Hoping you’re having a blessed fall.