He Checked the “No” Box

November 17, 2010 — 3 Comments

I just got done reading though the adoption papers that the birth dad filled out. I’m so thankful to have the medical history and some information about him and his family that we wouldn’t have otherwise had if he hadn’t filled it out. Our lawyer and counselor even said he was in the top 5 of birth dads they had met with. He was kind, a good communicator, respectful, and had a great smile. (They also said he’s huge. He’s 6′ 5″ and 290 lbs. which is why my child eats like he does.) I don’t know if he’s like this all the time but at least I can tell Isaac one day that others had good things to say about him.

But here’s the kicker for me, the heart wrenching, make me want to do the ugly cry kicker. He checked the “No” box. He said he did not want to meet Isaac in the future if Isaac wanted to. He didn’t check the box that said I’m not sure at this time. He checked “NO”. And maybe Isaac won’t care when he’s older if he meets him or not but I so hoped that would have been an option for him. Ugh. My heart literally aches at the thought of the rejection Isaac may feel as a result of that “no” box. I’m pretty sure that the birth dad has no idea of the gift he gave up, or maybe he does. But regardless I pray for him often. I pray that God would draw him in and change his life and heart. I pray one day he may be open to meeting Isaac. I also pray that God will fill Isaac’s heart and mind with Truth in such a way that he will know that he is loved and will never be rejected by his Father in Heaven or us.

In light of November being National Adoption Awareness month will you pray about adopting a child? Will you be the “Yes” Box for a child that someone has said “No” too?



3 responses to He Checked the “No” Box

  1. this is heart wrenching. however i am so grateful that isaac has you and matt and jenna 🙂

  2. Jody, I feel compelled to respond to your post. I was adopted by my dad. My mom decided to keep me, but my biological father has never been a part of my life (partially because of my mom’s dad, but that’s a different story), and I have never met him. I didn’t find out that my father that i grew up knowing wasn’t my biological father until I was about 13.

    Do you know the kicker? I have never honestly cared. I have known my father as the one who raised and loved me (even through a divorce) and have never had a desire to know my biological father. I really believe this is because I knew that my father that raised me truly loved me.

    I really think this is a beautiful picture of God’s family. His family isn’t one of blood, but of adoption. We can rest in that as His adopted children because we know that He truly loves us.

    I know that Isaac will experience true love from a family that’s crazy about him. It’s really a great place for him to learn what the love of God is like. It really was for me. I even received that from a family that didn’t know Jesus! You will be able to reflect the love of Christ so much more to Isaac!

  3. Jason, thanks SO much for sharing that with me. I totally agree that adoption is a wonderful picture of God’s love and family looks. I appreciate you sharing your story and reminding me of Truth.

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